The Curse of Advices

You all ,
(am adressing all the four may be five existing readers)
By the end of this post I am not sure if you will look at me with pity or respect as Am gonna list down all the top advices that I've got in the year 2010 from my family, friends, family friends, strangers and strange friends/family/family friends. Obviously all of them came unasked for or may be my "gloomy bored of life" expression invited some (i like to call it my thinking face) and some were fruits of my own plantation-slash- moronic actions. And I wonder...Its so crazy that my company pays millions in consultancy services, they obviously dont know the untapped potential of my people.

1. Almost Everybody: "Learn to speak Gujrati" (its high time now...I think i should)
2. Father: "Dont talk so fast"
3. Mother: "Dont talk to everbody like you own them"
4. Brother: "Dont talk to anybody" (am not that bad....he's just too extreme)
5. Sister: "Nobody gets your jokes so stop it allrite" :S
6.Sister Again: "Treat your boss like your mother in law"
7. Fiance: "Fix that tooth....dont frown" *frowning
8. Ntasha : "Get a loyalty test done on your fiance" (if you are equally lame enough to watch Emotional Atyachaar then you'd know what we are talking about)
9. Lavina: "You have got to learn to walk slow"
10. Abeer: "Its about time you made some babies" :S
11. Umema: "Give up singing in your nasal voice"(its all that I have)
12. Umema again: "dont act all nice n kind when you are not" (ok??)
13. Umema once more: "Dont laugh on your own jokes" *hides face
14. Sister (and few cousins): At her wedding, "You must never dance in public" (so much for being happy :( ... but shes right am outta-control when unleashed)
15. Safa: "you should never call.....He should call...coz He's the guy" (even though thats the general code amongst gals....I never got this logic .....also that logic about ladies going to the washroom in large groups et al....we shall discuss this matter in great depth in a later post titled "Unexplained Female behaviours")
16. Safa Again: "shop as much as you can rite now, your husband will never allow" (I really want to know her source of information)
17. Jumana: "You are doing the biggest favor on him just by being engaged to him you should not do anything else (she meant dont be nice...n be a bitch all the time) and if it doesnt work out then my brother in law is still single n looking". (Back up....check)
18. 10 or more aunties: At my sis' wedding "you should've seduced your man into marrying you and today you'd be getting married here too" (one even did a small wiki-how demonstration for me ..... my feelings were ...should I laugh or Should I cry??)
19. Uncle: "Never disclose your salary to anyone" (he had already asked me a second ago)
20. Another Uncle : "A good wife is the one who can cook well....thats all I ask for...learn to cook beta" (am trying uncle *wipes tears of despreration)
21. All the above: "Wear Heels"

Just for the record I love you all and I dunno what we'd do with all the time if we dint pass on random advices to each other.... prolly fight or judge each other ....but that does not mean that you or I must follow them coz when it comes to advices our brains are programmed to follow the most negative ones that are thrown at us....by default and take offense on those that are genuine and constructive (something went wrong somewhere..God knows what).

And as we move from one phase of life to another there r gonna be more n more advices to come coz basically we seek them, not for solutions but for conversations coz in the end whatever happens is only what we deserved.

Hence, As this year ends am giving up another of my passion/obsession- Advising (after Match making) as I no longer see the point in giving any. And I am taking up "obsessively worrying about the future" and "Project- Break up those losers. Lets hope it works out for the best of everybody.

Some place...far.

A friend had once told me, that if you are bored then dont continue being bored instead be creative. And since then, my tv watching hours and msn chatting hours have dwindled considerably (also FB stalking duty hours :S) and I discovered that I can draw. And I gave up drawing my same old "sun-mountain-sea-hut-coconut tree" picture (I can draw that with my eyes closed from practice of submitting that for every art class for 14 years in school)and tried pencil sketching.

This picture is something i drew just out of my head at work when it was 55 degrees in Kuwait and I wished I lived in a place where it was snowing. In my imagination I was a person whose job profile is to collect wood to keep warm when its snowing, and growing vegetables and grains in summer to store for the winter and I also have a flourishing business of growing and chopping pine trees during the christmas season (talk about having an ecconomical imagination).

But then this place did not have wi-fi and malls with multiplex so I moved back to Kuwait :(.