As my most cherished early memories from childhood is my dad taking me to watch "Khalnayak", n the most depressing one being-how much I cried when I came home from school and half of "chameli ki shaadi" was already over ;((it was brutal, I had only seen it 50 number of times), you can prolly imagine how filmy I am.
Then there were the times when the very thaught of me breaking into a dance routine would irritate my brother (which was later subdued to breaking into a random song). As time passed I evolved, I became more creative, a friend of mine n me (I know shes reading this) even made a fruit basket out of carved out watermelon to place on our heads and dance like SriDevi did in Mr. India (-please youtube "hawa hawai" for reference.) Later in life my days used to pass solely by making outrageously non-sensical parodies of all the hindi movie songs (thankfully I kept them to myself)....The point being I used to watch a lot of movies, no hindi movie went unseen before my eyes. Its amazing how I compeleted school and college with that kind of lifestyle.
But Alas!! I grew up, theres not enough time n not enough patience. But whatever I do, wherever I am.. I can pick a hindi movie reference for that situation and start expecting things to happen that way....which ofcouse does not happen...n hence therefore are born the disappointments of my disappointing life:
1.Like everytime am at the airport, till the time when the flights about to take off....I secretly hope someones moving mountains to reach there and stop me, just to confess his love which he realised last minute(also managing to make life long friendship/ gaining respect of the traffic police and airport officials while at it).stupid loser that he is, but ill love him in return eventually. Obviously nothing as such is ever going to happen, yet I expect.
2.This happens to me at the hospitals- I feel there should be atleast one assylum in the world where there is atleast one person who is mentally unstable and uncurable beyond mediacal miracles just because I rejected his love. Through this blog, I am trying to reach that mental patient...."Dear you, Am engaged!!!". -- But Just one!! is it asking for too much, but none so far.
3. Then there r those "expectation murderer" dates, where everything is just normal. Where it dint rain.. We dint suddenly appear in a desert or near the pyramids just to singa song. And he did not even engage in a fist fight with some gundas who were eyeing my exceptional beauty... or atleast get me some flowers.. or make some out of the way arrangements. atleast, a compliment. I think ill break into a sad song right now while typing this.
4. Thanks to hindi movies, I have this unrealistic optimism and positivity that irritates the crap out of people. No solutions will appear on their own just coz we bore the burdens with a smile. In reality, everyone gets mad at me for wasting their time by my two bits of wisdom borrowed from the movies and every messed up situation is bound to get further messed up. The goodness never really triumphed over evil and the poor never became the masters. I hope u all are happy, now that the world is going to end in 2012 (according to the movie 2012). and then there is this compulsive need to change lives and reach out to ppl BUT almost everyone I tried to reach out to, wanted to be left alone. n pleaded me to give up on them.burn u all.
5.My scientific and religeous beleifs are a bit screwed up as well...like all r supposed to turn into a star after dieing (its not scientifically un-proven yet), my dead grandma will be reborn as my daughter some day (who knows for sure??) And the wisdom that I recevied from 500 or so hindi movies that,Marriages are made in heaven...then why is dere a shaadi.com??? y wont God just destroy tht website with a stroke of lightening ???.Then there is the most important blackmaiil technique- The God blackmail, u tell him if he doesnt do this or that as per your wish or urgency ull never ever set foot in that temple again!! obviously GOd does not give in n hes prolly LOLing@you.
6. Movies have made me emotionally disoriented... It shocks me how so many people watch horror movies, and go home feeling entertained. I just cannot sit thru a horror movie .. n then I stay up for months even if ppl mention that scence from that movie (WAAAAAaaaaaa). ALso, thanks to the movies...I am extremely concious of being branded "FILMY" when attempting a romantic gesture, hence killing the inner need I end up doing nothing at all(bangs head to the walls) n then regretting later. Also crying hysterically while watching a movie, has never earned me any respect in the society. (I had a lump in my throat all thru Tere naam which broke into rivers of tears, n I dint have tissue so I wiped my nose on my sleeves.)why do they do this to us???
And even if something has happened amazingly, I cant help but comment..."this is exactly like in that movie...." Why am i like this?? Why cant I seperate movies from real life and do a big favor on myself and the world around me???
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Reasons Why I defriended you on Facebook
Thanks to my unusual powers at observing the usual behaviour, I have noticded that ,more n more people are developing some sort of "Social Networking Disorder" at a very alarming rate and something needs to be done before we start behaving like them, and that we will eventually...coz of the paradox that they r so many and we dont want to be left alone so we mindlessly do wht the rest are doing (the same reason why I gave in and embraced the whole idea of wearing sun glasses inside the mall).
But I will not be a silent sufferer while you drive me nutts through your moronic actions on Facebook. I have to (and will continue to..) DEFRIEND you. If you are reading this, here's why I defriended you on Facebook.
1. Your pictures:
You dont have to capture every moment of your life, you dont need to bore us with 555 albums, most of which will look like- "going for groccery shopping", "waiting for cab", "making dinner", "eating dinner", "blah blah...& shit shit". I dont have those kind of patience yet, especially when all your friends have sworn in to comment atleast 55 times on one pic. n just so I cant ignore it, you tag me in the pics tht am not even in....Its kind of mentally challenging when I have to watch all this while sitting in a brown cubicle and not being able to scream in pain and agony. So I Defriended you.
2. Your status messages:
I hate myself for knowing the kinds of you who feel the need to update the world on every happenings of ur life or describe every passing spectacle that crossed your eyes.. Just FYI, it doesnt make any one think that you are happening, it only confirms how sad you are- thts y I defriended you. what was the deal with updating the status with ur bra color ?? (I'd really want to know how many lives were saved with tht kind of Breast Cancer Awareness) n song lyrics.... really!! be original, be thaught provoking (if not revolutinary).
3. Your invitations:
Those game invitations...I dont care if you get killed by real mafia (higly literally) or if you grow shit in you farm and I hope your fishes get killed by a whale. also, i seriously dont wanna know who viewed my profile!!!!
4. Poke me not:
I view it as someone jumping up and down for attention - a behaviour most similar to my 4 year old cousins. instead I suggest you hit me with a hockey stick when you meet me in person.
5. Tag me not:
I am a normal person all thru the week but the weekends brings out the freak inside me (or the zombie) and just coz you happened to be there with your camera does not mean I must pose. just let me be. half of my frnds dont usually know tht am with the other half and these tags exposes my deception. plus there r work related ppl and in laws related future relatives on FB who must at all times remain oblivious to my "ghetto" lifestyle. (also those uncles who think am sucha bore and hence so adorable). You just could not stop tagging me and I just could not sleep in peace at night so I had to defriend you.
6.You were a newbie:
You were so new to Facebook that you did all of the above mentioned... all at once, instead of shooting myself with my dagger, I chose to defriend you.
7. You were from my hometown:
I love my ppl and my place so much I would take a bullet for Banswara. BUT not add them on Facebook. Just for sake of sanity. A month in a year is enough for all tht I can take... after all, theres a reason why I was raised outside the town. Apologies to the cousins, and their cousins, and their friends and all their parents, I had to defriend you, coz I dint really think before joining facebook that the Facebook revolution will reach my village too.
Even tho I have defriended you, I'd still be civil n nice when we meet in real life. But u must understand..that-Facebook is stupid, but am still on it!! It saves a lot on texting (am not cheap, am wise), it also provides me with the joys of looking at your wedding pics, and your babys pictures and those cute couple poses (mines pending for quite some time now) and how I can call up our mutual friends and laugh my gutts out at your current display pic!!! yes, I know am a horrible horrible person...y dont u go ahead n defriend me.
But I will not be a silent sufferer while you drive me nutts through your moronic actions on Facebook. I have to (and will continue to..) DEFRIEND you. If you are reading this, here's why I defriended you on Facebook.
1. Your pictures:
You dont have to capture every moment of your life, you dont need to bore us with 555 albums, most of which will look like- "going for groccery shopping", "waiting for cab", "making dinner", "eating dinner", "blah blah...& shit shit". I dont have those kind of patience yet, especially when all your friends have sworn in to comment atleast 55 times on one pic. n just so I cant ignore it, you tag me in the pics tht am not even in....Its kind of mentally challenging when I have to watch all this while sitting in a brown cubicle and not being able to scream in pain and agony. So I Defriended you.
2. Your status messages:
I hate myself for knowing the kinds of you who feel the need to update the world on every happenings of ur life or describe every passing spectacle that crossed your eyes.. Just FYI, it doesnt make any one think that you are happening, it only confirms how sad you are- thts y I defriended you. what was the deal with updating the status with ur bra color ?? (I'd really want to know how many lives were saved with tht kind of Breast Cancer Awareness) n song lyrics.... really!! be original, be thaught provoking (if not revolutinary).
3. Your invitations:
Those game invitations...I dont care if you get killed by real mafia (higly literally) or if you grow shit in you farm and I hope your fishes get killed by a whale. also, i seriously dont wanna know who viewed my profile!!!!
4. Poke me not:
I view it as someone jumping up and down for attention - a behaviour most similar to my 4 year old cousins. instead I suggest you hit me with a hockey stick when you meet me in person.
5. Tag me not:
I am a normal person all thru the week but the weekends brings out the freak inside me (or the zombie) and just coz you happened to be there with your camera does not mean I must pose. just let me be. half of my frnds dont usually know tht am with the other half and these tags exposes my deception. plus there r work related ppl and in laws related future relatives on FB who must at all times remain oblivious to my "ghetto" lifestyle. (also those uncles who think am sucha bore and hence so adorable). You just could not stop tagging me and I just could not sleep in peace at night so I had to defriend you.
6.You were a newbie:
You were so new to Facebook that you did all of the above mentioned... all at once, instead of shooting myself with my dagger, I chose to defriend you.
7. You were from my hometown:
I love my ppl and my place so much I would take a bullet for Banswara. BUT not add them on Facebook. Just for sake of sanity. A month in a year is enough for all tht I can take... after all, theres a reason why I was raised outside the town. Apologies to the cousins, and their cousins, and their friends and all their parents, I had to defriend you, coz I dint really think before joining facebook that the Facebook revolution will reach my village too.
Even tho I have defriended you, I'd still be civil n nice when we meet in real life. But u must understand..that-Facebook is stupid, but am still on it!! It saves a lot on texting (am not cheap, am wise), it also provides me with the joys of looking at your wedding pics, and your babys pictures and those cute couple poses (mines pending for quite some time now) and how I can call up our mutual friends and laugh my gutts out at your current display pic!!! yes, I know am a horrible horrible person...y dont u go ahead n defriend me.
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