With the due date coming closer and closer, I am terrified !!! and terrified would be an under statement to how terrified I am.
With each passing day I thank God for His blessings but there are days which are filled with nothing but complaints and sentences that end with "why me?". Which make me all guilty for feeling that way... But am only a human.
Right now, I am having one of my "why me" moments as Its 330 in the night and am unable to sleep due to frantic kicks of the baby and I might have sent more than 10 messages to my husband in Dubai but without any reply. ( I hope he falls off the bed right this moment). He should suffer too.
While dealing with my sleeplessness My thoughts took me to my childhood. And I realized how great a team my mom and dad has been while raising us.
The earliest memory I have of my dad is him and me looking for a straw hat in every single market in Kuwait coz I had seen it on tv and had created a "I must have it" tantrum. We could not find the exact hat so he bought me a frilly frock with matching hat instead. I must've been 4 then but I knew my dad had suffered enough and I must settle for the frock.
My dad is my hero. He always got us what we wanted provided we sensibly convinced him. He has always taught us to respect others and make people feel important irrespective of who they are or what they did to us. I have never heard him criticize or mock anyone. He taught us to pray and say "Allah Kareem" for any adversity in life.
It bothers me how his kind and helping nature is often taken advantage of by others, which he knows of but it doesn't matter to him. And the best thing about my dad is-He may be humble and cool headed but not someone who is afraid to fight for what he believes in.
Then theres my mom... A bit short tempered, a lil over protective and I can say tht she might have an OCD for cleanliness if we get that checked.
She made sure we were always well mannered, polite and best at everything we do. Which was not possible, but we tried. She was proud of our every tiny lil achievements. And heard our every silly, long, boring stories with great interest. She Defended us- fought for us- protected us- and even chased and spanked us, as and when needed.
And right now, as am living with my parents, she bears the brunt of my hormonal upsurges first hand. She worries for me, takes me for my appointments and even talks to my sonography pics in a silly baby voice.
I know, Parenting has its joys and sorrows, it comes with its perks as well as regrets. But at the end of the day, all you got to do is prepare for the next day!!
I hope,that someday ill read this blog and be able to tell myself that I did a great job too.
Love,
Wanna be mommy!
