People talk of professional growth, personal growth,
financial growth and what not but nobody talks about successfully raising
humans and winning at it, there’s no role model or book that I can follow.
I have been a full time working mom, part time working mom
and also a stay at home mom and I can say that nothing makes me happy,
professionally, personally or financially. I love my children but I cannot be
around them 24/7 and am sure they feel the same. I care and worry for them
endlessly but I don’t want to smother them with my concerns and have no other
aspirations in life. I want them to be independent and free thinkers yet I
interrupt them and force them to behave in certain manner even when we are at
home. I teach them about being safe and not talk to strangers, and in the
process I am afraid that they are coming off as rude and arrogant spoilt brats
who don’t thank or smile at a cashier or a cab driver. In short, you can never
be sure that the “life lessons” that you are imparting are gonna work in the
long run and make decent people out of them.
While we were raised, certain things were right and certain
were grossly wrong and as a child at that time, I used to think to myself that
I won’t do this to my children or embarrass them in this way EVER , yet there
are times when I am having a hard time managing my flock and resort to the classic “my mom’s”
tactics and yes instantly I get possessed by my mom and things work out just
fine.
Then we also meet other people and their kids and some can
be terrible if not bad influence (my kids have learnt to roll their eyes when
they don’t like them, something that their father thinks has come from their
mom, yours truly). Also kids at school, that come in the form of bullies,
clingy friends, arrogant divas etc etc… There’s no way to ensure that they are
with the best company and that they will not forget their manners and mind
their behavior with them.
When my husband comes home each night and we ask about each other’s
day, his usual response is a one word answer (good-bad-tiring- Alhamdulillah)
but mine are mostly about how unfair and unkind this world had been towards my two angels and his response to my saga is always, “don’t dramatize
things”!!! or “Its normal”. That’s y I blogged about my dilemmas. I
think I worry too much.
