You all ,
(am adressing all the four may be five existing readers)
By the end of this post I am not sure if you will look at me with pity or respect as Am gonna list down all the top advices that I've got in the year 2010 from my family, friends, family friends, strangers and strange friends/family/family friends. Obviously all of them came unasked for or may be my "gloomy bored of life" expression invited some (i like to call it my thinking face) and some were fruits of my own plantation-slash- moronic actions. And I wonder...Its so crazy that my company pays millions in consultancy services, they obviously dont know the untapped potential of my people.
1. Almost Everybody: "Learn to speak Gujrati" (its high time now...I think i should)
2. Father: "Dont talk so fast"
3. Mother: "Dont talk to everbody like you own them"
4. Brother: "Dont talk to anybody" (am not that bad....he's just too extreme)
5. Sister: "Nobody gets your jokes so stop it allrite" :S
6.Sister Again: "Treat your boss like your mother in law"
7. Fiance: "Fix that tooth....dont frown" *frowning
8. Ntasha : "Get a loyalty test done on your fiance" (if you are equally lame enough to watch Emotional Atyachaar then you'd know what we are talking about)
9. Lavina: "You have got to learn to walk slow"
10. Abeer: "Its about time you made some babies" :S
11. Umema: "Give up singing in your nasal voice"(its all that I have)
12. Umema again: "dont act all nice n kind when you are not" (ok??)
13. Umema once more: "Dont laugh on your own jokes" *hides face
14. Sister (and few cousins): At her wedding, "You must never dance in public" (so much for being happy :( ... but shes right am outta-control when unleashed)
15. Safa: "you should never call.....He should call...coz He's the guy" (even though thats the general code amongst gals....I never got this logic .....also that logic about ladies going to the washroom in large groups et al....we shall discuss this matter in great depth in a later post titled "Unexplained Female behaviours")
16. Safa Again: "shop as much as you can rite now, your husband will never allow" (I really want to know her source of information)
17. Jumana: "You are doing the biggest favor on him just by being engaged to him you should not do anything else (she meant dont be nice...n be a bitch all the time) and if it doesnt work out then my brother in law is still single n looking". (Back up....check)
18. 10 or more aunties: At my sis' wedding "you should've seduced your man into marrying you and today you'd be getting married here too" (one even did a small wiki-how demonstration for me ..... my feelings were ...should I laugh or Should I cry??)
19. Uncle: "Never disclose your salary to anyone" (he had already asked me a second ago)
20. Another Uncle : "A good wife is the one who can cook well....thats all I ask for...learn to cook beta" (am trying uncle *wipes tears of despreration)
21. All the above: "Wear Heels"
Just for the record I love you all and I dunno what we'd do with all the time if we dint pass on random advices to each other.... prolly fight or judge each other ....but that does not mean that you or I must follow them coz when it comes to advices our brains are programmed to follow the most negative ones that are thrown at us....by default and take offense on those that are genuine and constructive (something went wrong somewhere..God knows what).
And as we move from one phase of life to another there r gonna be more n more advices to come coz basically we seek them, not for solutions but for conversations coz in the end whatever happens is only what we deserved.
Hence, As this year ends am giving up another of my passion/obsession- Advising (after Match making) as I no longer see the point in giving any. And I am taking up "obsessively worrying about the future" and "Project- Break up those losers. Lets hope it works out for the best of everybody.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Some place...far.
A friend had once told me, that if you are bored then dont continue being bored instead be creative. And since then, my tv watching hours and msn chatting hours have dwindled considerably (also FB stalking duty hours :S) and I discovered that I can draw. And I gave up drawing my same old "sun-mountain-sea-hut-coconut tree" picture (I can draw that with my eyes closed from practice of submitting that for every art class for 14 years in school)and tried pencil sketching.
This picture is something i drew just out of my head at work when it was 55 degrees in Kuwait and I wished I lived in a place where it was snowing. In my imagination I was a person whose job profile is to collect wood to keep warm when its snowing, and growing vegetables and grains in summer to store for the winter and I also have a flourishing business of growing and chopping pine trees during the christmas season (talk about having an ecconomical imagination).
But then this place did not have wi-fi and malls with multiplex so I moved back to Kuwait :(.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
…then Patience is the key.
I am in my hometown since 2 months, the reason being my lil sis’ wedding and believe it or not while here I missed my third degree torture of a job in “Kuwait Petroleum” (I wish there was an expression in this world to describe how proudly my mom mentions this to my relatives here…. I should make her meet my Chairman’s mom someday).
Being here I’ve realized that in so many years the place has changed a lot, more traffic, better infrastructure, better shopping places etc. (pls. pray that we get a mall n a multiplex soon) But one thing is intact, and that’s the people and their endless/mindless curiosity. I swear I tried but I don’t know why my brain just cannot stop being amazed at how much people care about everything (big or small) in my almost city but still a village of a hometown. Hence, therefore, all I can do to survive yet another 15 days here (without being labeled a “snapping bitch” by popular demand) is to be PATIENT. Especially…
1. When everybody around you has self appointed themselves as your body guard. And considers reporting you’re every small/big move to your parents and other close and distant relatives- and that pretty much covers the entire population!. (And you were bugged about stalkers on facebook). Its frustrating, especially when you don’t have much to do at home as people keep visiting ( I so want to charge them a small entry fee to my house) and when you go out you are being watched and talked about without being subtle about it (initially I did feel like a celebrity but now I feel Britney Spear’s and Paris Hilton’s pain :P). Apart from being bodyguards, they are also part time counselors and consultants who feel the need to advice you in every possible way (health/ mental/ emotional/ financial) all round the clock (such dedication and hard work and I wonder why theres so much unemployment in this country)
2. When you have to bend and do salaam to every goddamn person who entered that venue before you (our salaam is 1. bend 2. take the persons hand 3. touch your right eye to it 4. then left eye 5. then forehead 6. then lips….am tired just by explaining this procedure) and then engaging in an aimless FAQ’s round with every single one of them. To save myself some torment I had planned to make an appearance an hour earlier, but it backfired in my face as it only invited more questions….(where’s your mom/dad/bro/sis….why/how/when did u come….blah blah shit shit……).All Fails. If only I was paid to do this, I’d be buying my custom made mercedez by the end of this trip.
3. When people start explaining how they are related to you,…. I mean come on!! Do you think Ill consider you in my will?? Or someday ill sit and make a family tree for all the history books in the world and hang your pic on the most cornered branch?? Or are you hoping me to behave like you coz somewhere there our DNA’s match??? I tried escaping by a“ Oh yes…ofcourse I know you” …but then they counter question you and test you if you really do. All Fails. I am suggesting all my people should polygraph test me at once to see if I really know them or not.
4. When people think forcibly feeding someone is the way of caring and showing love. I actually get cramps in my feet from sitting that long for a meal. I so want to burp in their faces… only if that made them disghusted and not happier :S
5. When people get shocked if they see you at masjid for prayers or a visiting a religious place. Seriously, what is it about me that says that am an atheist?? Is it my satanic pendant?? Or my dragon tattoo?? Why is it so difficult to believe that people are capable of having faith in God if they r brought up outside this village??? And do they really expect me to try n convince them, that it’s not just a show to impress them??? *praying harder.
6. When you are constantly being asked if you are the older/younger sister??? (Am considering coloring my hair grey and walking around with a stick to convince you all.) And is it you who got married?? (yes!!! my imaginary husband is on space mission to Mars rite now).
I am bored, sick n tired. But I know ill miss this place and the people once I am back to my secluded nest in Kuwait. Its just that in this town people’s curiosity needs to be constantly fed and they always need something to talk about. Till then, let me be with…my bike….that pani puri stall …Gulaab jamuns and paan.V Peace V
Being here I’ve realized that in so many years the place has changed a lot, more traffic, better infrastructure, better shopping places etc. (pls. pray that we get a mall n a multiplex soon) But one thing is intact, and that’s the people and their endless/mindless curiosity. I swear I tried but I don’t know why my brain just cannot stop being amazed at how much people care about everything (big or small) in my almost city but still a village of a hometown. Hence, therefore, all I can do to survive yet another 15 days here (without being labeled a “snapping bitch” by popular demand) is to be PATIENT. Especially…
1. When everybody around you has self appointed themselves as your body guard. And considers reporting you’re every small/big move to your parents and other close and distant relatives- and that pretty much covers the entire population!. (And you were bugged about stalkers on facebook). Its frustrating, especially when you don’t have much to do at home as people keep visiting ( I so want to charge them a small entry fee to my house) and when you go out you are being watched and talked about without being subtle about it (initially I did feel like a celebrity but now I feel Britney Spear’s and Paris Hilton’s pain :P). Apart from being bodyguards, they are also part time counselors and consultants who feel the need to advice you in every possible way (health/ mental/ emotional/ financial) all round the clock (such dedication and hard work and I wonder why theres so much unemployment in this country)
2. When you have to bend and do salaam to every goddamn person who entered that venue before you (our salaam is 1. bend 2. take the persons hand 3. touch your right eye to it 4. then left eye 5. then forehead 6. then lips….am tired just by explaining this procedure) and then engaging in an aimless FAQ’s round with every single one of them. To save myself some torment I had planned to make an appearance an hour earlier, but it backfired in my face as it only invited more questions….(where’s your mom/dad/bro/sis….why/how/when did u come….blah blah shit shit……).All Fails. If only I was paid to do this, I’d be buying my custom made mercedez by the end of this trip.
3. When people start explaining how they are related to you,…. I mean come on!! Do you think Ill consider you in my will?? Or someday ill sit and make a family tree for all the history books in the world and hang your pic on the most cornered branch?? Or are you hoping me to behave like you coz somewhere there our DNA’s match??? I tried escaping by a“ Oh yes…ofcourse I know you” …but then they counter question you and test you if you really do. All Fails. I am suggesting all my people should polygraph test me at once to see if I really know them or not.
4. When people think forcibly feeding someone is the way of caring and showing love. I actually get cramps in my feet from sitting that long for a meal. I so want to burp in their faces… only if that made them disghusted and not happier :S
5. When people get shocked if they see you at masjid for prayers or a visiting a religious place. Seriously, what is it about me that says that am an atheist?? Is it my satanic pendant?? Or my dragon tattoo?? Why is it so difficult to believe that people are capable of having faith in God if they r brought up outside this village??? And do they really expect me to try n convince them, that it’s not just a show to impress them??? *praying harder.
6. When you are constantly being asked if you are the older/younger sister??? (Am considering coloring my hair grey and walking around with a stick to convince you all.) And is it you who got married?? (yes!!! my imaginary husband is on space mission to Mars rite now).
I am bored, sick n tired. But I know ill miss this place and the people once I am back to my secluded nest in Kuwait. Its just that in this town people’s curiosity needs to be constantly fed and they always need something to talk about. Till then, let me be with…my bike….that pani puri stall …Gulaab jamuns and paan.V Peace V
Friday, September 3, 2010
HaPpY S@d
BREAKING NEWS to whoeva that reads my blog: "My lil sister is getting married. And I know exactly what ur thinking, so yes am not married yet and no am not feeling bad about this situation. And this I am not just saying, coz I ve already said this to almost everyone I met in the last 4 months but coz I think ill look better at my wedding :P...wheveva that is.
But yes am feeling sad about the fact that:
1. Ill be the only kid in the house now, and having total care and attention of my parents at the age of 24 was never my dream. (not a pleasant one atleast.) If something goes wrong its obviously me to blame, there will be no one on my side while am trying to pull the "generation gap" trick, and ill be alone to listen to the never- ending "morale lessons from 1975".
2. I will be expected to be more social, as my sis took care of that all this while. She knew all the people in the circuit, their names, their kids, their addresss etc. In short she was the "social butterfly" , the walking-talking telephone directory for the bohras of Kuwait. I dont have those kinds of "People's skill". And my parents adored her for that (more coz mom used to get all the gossips). I am a disappointment. I no. Shoot me (while i look for an escuse to miss the next function).
3. Who will fix the wires behind the TV. she always got that audio video connection right while my monkey brain stood there watching with awe and amusement.
4. I like to preach a lot and sometimes I tend to forget that I have said the same thing in 20 different ways and Rubab was always there to stop me while at it. Now this world will witness the worst of my verbal diarrhoeas (Run while you still can).
5. Me and Rubab had invented crazy games, like the "Dancing Martial Arts", basically u hit each other while dancing (I broke her front tooth once in defence) My fav move was swirling in a circle with my arms wide open and then slapping her in the process (genius!! I know....I was the undefeated champ) there was no winner at this, it just involved hitting each other till the end of the song. Then, the "feet wrestling" you cant hit or use any other part of the body except the feet, the one who manages to stand on the other persons foot/feet for more than 10 counts wins!!yay!! And many such crazy games which I no I can only play with my sis. but not anymore. (plz dont judge me.... this is the craziest I can get...mostly)
6. The "did I tell you about...." and never completing it, and then saying "oh you dont need to know" always tortured her with this, n Oh what satisfaction I got out of this. priceless.
7. I have like 4-5 good n close friends, but rubab has a gang of gals around her. And all of em are like fun to hang out with (neva thut i'd admit this) and ill miss the fact that they ill no longer come over or have those group dance practises in our living room with no consideration what so ever for the ppl living downstairs.
But I will definitely not miss the fact that she always borrowed my clothes n managed to spoil them instantly with irreparable damages. And her constant nagging about how I should be more careful with money (and only buy at "clearnace sale"). But ill miss those shoes that she borrowed n squeezed her gigantic feet into n made big and unwearable for me. And in few days time she ill be gone and I can finally have that uninterrupted afternoon nap that I have been wanting to have since 12 March 1989.
But yes am feeling sad about the fact that:
1. Ill be the only kid in the house now, and having total care and attention of my parents at the age of 24 was never my dream. (not a pleasant one atleast.) If something goes wrong its obviously me to blame, there will be no one on my side while am trying to pull the "generation gap" trick, and ill be alone to listen to the never- ending "morale lessons from 1975".
2. I will be expected to be more social, as my sis took care of that all this while. She knew all the people in the circuit, their names, their kids, their addresss etc. In short she was the "social butterfly" , the walking-talking telephone directory for the bohras of Kuwait. I dont have those kinds of "People's skill". And my parents adored her for that (more coz mom used to get all the gossips). I am a disappointment. I no. Shoot me (while i look for an escuse to miss the next function).
3. Who will fix the wires behind the TV. she always got that audio video connection right while my monkey brain stood there watching with awe and amusement.
4. I like to preach a lot and sometimes I tend to forget that I have said the same thing in 20 different ways and Rubab was always there to stop me while at it. Now this world will witness the worst of my verbal diarrhoeas (Run while you still can).
5. Me and Rubab had invented crazy games, like the "Dancing Martial Arts", basically u hit each other while dancing (I broke her front tooth once in defence) My fav move was swirling in a circle with my arms wide open and then slapping her in the process (genius!! I know....I was the undefeated champ) there was no winner at this, it just involved hitting each other till the end of the song. Then, the "feet wrestling" you cant hit or use any other part of the body except the feet, the one who manages to stand on the other persons foot/feet for more than 10 counts wins!!yay!! And many such crazy games which I no I can only play with my sis. but not anymore. (plz dont judge me.... this is the craziest I can get...mostly)
6. The "did I tell you about...." and never completing it, and then saying "oh you dont need to know" always tortured her with this, n Oh what satisfaction I got out of this. priceless.
7. I have like 4-5 good n close friends, but rubab has a gang of gals around her. And all of em are like fun to hang out with (neva thut i'd admit this) and ill miss the fact that they ill no longer come over or have those group dance practises in our living room with no consideration what so ever for the ppl living downstairs.
But I will definitely not miss the fact that she always borrowed my clothes n managed to spoil them instantly with irreparable damages. And her constant nagging about how I should be more careful with money (and only buy at "clearnace sale"). But ill miss those shoes that she borrowed n squeezed her gigantic feet into n made big and unwearable for me. And in few days time she ill be gone and I can finally have that uninterrupted afternoon nap that I have been wanting to have since 12 March 1989.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
What will I be??
Sitting in my cubicle, I am bored, and I am thinking I could have been something else, do something I really liked, where I would actually be happy to wake up every morning with a purpose most dear to me. But what?? This job is exactly what I studied for, to end up as a manager eventually after some 15-20 years. I thaught I wanted that, but when I see my manager stressing over a tiny dot of a mistake and raising hell over a lost piece of paper, I'd rather pass that opportunity. I could do so many amazing things (I like to think so) but am stuck in a cubicle. But What?
My very first ambition as a child was to be a maid servant, I liked the whole idea of going from one house to another cleaning, dusting, and putting things in place. (dont judge me!! I was 5 yrs. old then) and what made it all the more exciting was when I saw my mom as a housewife doing all this for free (for us) but as a maid I'd get paid, and I'd get to hang out with so many other families (so Khewl!!). Obviously my dreams were shattered when my mom fired our first and only maid till date on the grounds of stealing (still unproven).
Then, my milk teeth started to fall and those were the most tragic days of my life because 4 of my front teeth refused to come back for 3 full years, so every time i opened my mouth, it used to look like a rat hole :( .I was very depressed back in those days especially coz family friends and relatives unanimously decided on calling my mouth the "India gate" and my mom used to try everything possible on heaven and earth to bring those teeth back. I wanted to be a dentist rite then to help people suffering from fate like mine.
Then came the time when Ash and Sush won the Miss World and Miss Universe title, there was so much gung ho in Indian media that it convinced me that I was born to be a beauty queen. Then ash and sush got into movies which was like "wow" moments of my life. I used to even practise giving interviews to the press with my sister and neighbor (Talk about obsessions!! ). Then one day I finally told my mom that I want to be a film actress when I grow up, she explained to me how obscene it is to dance in the rain like that pointing towards the TV (a bollywood song was going on- "tip tip barsa paani") and no respectable girl should be made to do that unless her parents are mad or dead.period. (my mom gets dramatic sometimes!! mostly!! )
My very first ambition as a child was to be a maid servant, I liked the whole idea of going from one house to another cleaning, dusting, and putting things in place. (dont judge me!! I was 5 yrs. old then) and what made it all the more exciting was when I saw my mom as a housewife doing all this for free (for us) but as a maid I'd get paid, and I'd get to hang out with so many other families (so Khewl!!). Obviously my dreams were shattered when my mom fired our first and only maid till date on the grounds of stealing (still unproven).
Then, my milk teeth started to fall and those were the most tragic days of my life because 4 of my front teeth refused to come back for 3 full years, so every time i opened my mouth, it used to look like a rat hole :( .I was very depressed back in those days especially coz family friends and relatives unanimously decided on calling my mouth the "India gate" and my mom used to try everything possible on heaven and earth to bring those teeth back. I wanted to be a dentist rite then to help people suffering from fate like mine.
Then came the time when Ash and Sush won the Miss World and Miss Universe title, there was so much gung ho in Indian media that it convinced me that I was born to be a beauty queen. Then ash and sush got into movies which was like "wow" moments of my life. I used to even practise giving interviews to the press with my sister and neighbor (Talk about obsessions!! ). Then one day I finally told my mom that I want to be a film actress when I grow up, she explained to me how obscene it is to dance in the rain like that pointing towards the TV (a bollywood song was going on- "tip tip barsa paani") and no respectable girl should be made to do that unless her parents are mad or dead.period. (my mom gets dramatic sometimes!! mostly!! )
From then on, I concentrated my efforts on being a total nurd!! as I thaught id look good in a doctor's jacket and one needs to be smart inuff to get there. But then I got bored of getting good marks and being the good girl. And after getting amazing percentage in tenth standard I shifted towards the Engineering field (all my "supa Khewl" frnds were in that section) but struggled to pass every single day..during those traumatising two years of sitting through math, lost during the chemistry lab sessions and breaking expensive apparatus in the physics lab in my efforts to get it right. (my brothers an engineer, so we dont have to blame the genes, just for record). In the end i did pass, thanks to moms prayers. But I knew am never getting into anything remotely scientific eva.
It was definitely commerce for me. I was just awesome at it. First 4 classes on the first day of college and I knew I was made to do this. I was not lost and I dint have to pretend that I understood coz I actually got what was being taught. 3 years and I graduated without any backlogs, with flying colors and ready to hit the corporate world. Since I've graduated I moved from one field to another, HR being the most favourite so far. And now into administration, I spend half my time making reports on excel or word (i hate em both)and the other half trying to get things done thru other people. As I feel wasted and burnt in the process, cant help but wishing, I was a farmer.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
coz they are, "Married and Bored".
When you meet them, The husband is usually filled with sarcasm and taunts and the wife is like the complain box of some over-priced but actually down market motel that is-“Filled with complaints”!! I wonder, if there is a secret code amongst married people to not like each other in public or may be they pretend just so we don’t jinx their actually happily married lives with our evil eyes. And if they are not together they will spread the venom against each other separately at different venues (what dedication!!)
My message to all of you: I really couldn’t care less if you killed each other (literally) and I really don’t want to assess and advice on the whole situation, and if I did you will definitely respond by a- “Mind your own business”. Am not taking sides and you guys are definitely not getting any of my sympathies. You all bore me. Really!!
So what’s the point of this whole charade??? -Really GOD what is happening here?? Weren’t all matches made in heaven?? Wasn’t she made out of his ribs?? Did Adam and Eve have similar relationship issues?? Lets hope they did!! Because then we can blame it on the genetic structure.
Am not married yet and I hope I don’t become the kind of wife who is desperately waiting to bitch about her husband the first chance she gets. And I hope he wont be the kind of man who feels he is tied down or caged, just coz he is married. And I really hope that even if we do feel that way, we will not resort to a dramatic show of it in public. But wont it be a much sadder situation if we actually feel pathetic n trapped but act all happy happy?? Well, only time can tell. As of now, undoubtedly…. all you married folks out there have managed to freak me out completely. Thanks!!
In the words of great Ntasha Berry (don’t google it, she’s just my friend)- we are all basically looking for attention, whether its through love or marriage or dating. If You give some attention, you get some….And if you are not giving or getting any, then theres “Trouble in Paradise!!
(It does make sense in a weird world somewhere, or the one that we live in.)
My message to all of you: I really couldn’t care less if you killed each other (literally) and I really don’t want to assess and advice on the whole situation, and if I did you will definitely respond by a- “Mind your own business”. Am not taking sides and you guys are definitely not getting any of my sympathies. You all bore me. Really!!
So what’s the point of this whole charade??? -Really GOD what is happening here?? Weren’t all matches made in heaven?? Wasn’t she made out of his ribs?? Did Adam and Eve have similar relationship issues?? Lets hope they did!! Because then we can blame it on the genetic structure.
Am not married yet and I hope I don’t become the kind of wife who is desperately waiting to bitch about her husband the first chance she gets. And I hope he wont be the kind of man who feels he is tied down or caged, just coz he is married. And I really hope that even if we do feel that way, we will not resort to a dramatic show of it in public. But wont it be a much sadder situation if we actually feel pathetic n trapped but act all happy happy?? Well, only time can tell. As of now, undoubtedly…. all you married folks out there have managed to freak me out completely. Thanks!!
In the words of great Ntasha Berry (don’t google it, she’s just my friend)- we are all basically looking for attention, whether its through love or marriage or dating. If You give some attention, you get some….And if you are not giving or getting any, then theres “Trouble in Paradise!!
(It does make sense in a weird world somewhere, or the one that we live in.)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Please dont ask me.
I just hate forced small talks, the meaningless questions and the baseless answers and the fake smiles and the compulsion to compliment ("oh! nice nail polish").but that is all that a social gathering has to offer these days or you can just sit at home n flip channels.
I have done some trend analysis in the last one year or so and below are the most frequently asked questions (FAQs) to me at most weddings/birthday parties/picnics/dinners and all such places where you just have to go only because your parents want you to. There is no exact right answers to these questions coz:
-people dont want to hear the right answers
-or the questions r just too silly to be
-and mostly the qustioneer is undeserving of gettign any answer coz they r not tht close/important.
but i do try not to speak my mind and be politically correct and be as less offensive/defensive as possible. In reality nothing you say makes any difference coz they r going to interpret in the way they want to..
1. What your salary?
My reaction: enough to pay the bills -Alhamdulillah
*thinking: I neither pay my bills nor yours, so how does that matter to you??
2. Do u like kids?
My Reaction: They r cute.
My Actual Answer: not all.
3. Is that an original?
My Reaction: No
The Real Answer: Yes
4. How much did that cost you?
My answer: I don’t Know, I got it as a gift.
*thinking: Do u ask because it looks cheap or expensive??
5. Is that make up?
Answer: What do u think?
Real Answer should be: I was a born beauty. (This question should be listed as bad manners, of the same degree as asking a lady her age.)
6. When r u getting married?
My answer: December
Real Answer: I really really don’t know (how hard is it to believe that??).
7. Do u like this guy you are engaged to?
My Reaction: * smile and silence....(always do that to annoy people)
*Thinking: Is this some kind of Ekta Kapoor serial where am supposed to be getting married to my worst enemy just for a revenge? Or is it some Hindi movie where am blackmailed into a forced marriage?? Oh no it was a child marriage n I dint care at that time and I cant do anything rite now. (plz sense the sarcasm)
8. What is your mother in law like?
Whatever you say to this one, in the end they just convince you that this relationship is doomed forever and after, and you are just not allowed to like her n vice versa. But beleive me she is actually nice...now what can I do about that ?
9. Why dint you call me?
My answer: Am sorry it just slipped from my mind.
Real Answer: Am ignoring you, get the hint already/ You have a phone too…don’t you??
10. Are you mad at me?
My Answer: Of course not!!!
*thinking What did he/she do, damn am I forgetting or did I already get even?? This question really drives me nutts.
I have done some trend analysis in the last one year or so and below are the most frequently asked questions (FAQs) to me at most weddings/birthday parties/picnics/dinners and all such places where you just have to go only because your parents want you to. There is no exact right answers to these questions coz:
-people dont want to hear the right answers
-or the questions r just too silly to be
-and mostly the qustioneer is undeserving of gettign any answer coz they r not tht close/important.
but i do try not to speak my mind and be politically correct and be as less offensive/defensive as possible. In reality nothing you say makes any difference coz they r going to interpret in the way they want to..
1. What your salary?
My reaction: enough to pay the bills -Alhamdulillah
*thinking: I neither pay my bills nor yours, so how does that matter to you??
2. Do u like kids?
My Reaction: They r cute.
My Actual Answer: not all.
3. Is that an original?
My Reaction: No
The Real Answer: Yes
4. How much did that cost you?
My answer: I don’t Know, I got it as a gift.
*thinking: Do u ask because it looks cheap or expensive??
5. Is that make up?
Answer: What do u think?
Real Answer should be: I was a born beauty. (This question should be listed as bad manners, of the same degree as asking a lady her age.)
6. When r u getting married?
My answer: December
Real Answer: I really really don’t know (how hard is it to believe that??).
7. Do u like this guy you are engaged to?
My Reaction: * smile and silence....(always do that to annoy people)
*Thinking: Is this some kind of Ekta Kapoor serial where am supposed to be getting married to my worst enemy just for a revenge? Or is it some Hindi movie where am blackmailed into a forced marriage?? Oh no it was a child marriage n I dint care at that time and I cant do anything rite now. (plz sense the sarcasm)
8. What is your mother in law like?
Whatever you say to this one, in the end they just convince you that this relationship is doomed forever and after, and you are just not allowed to like her n vice versa. But beleive me she is actually nice...now what can I do about that ?
9. Why dint you call me?
My answer: Am sorry it just slipped from my mind.
Real Answer: Am ignoring you, get the hint already/ You have a phone too…don’t you??
10. Are you mad at me?
My Answer: Of course not!!!
*thinking What did he/she do, damn am I forgetting or did I already get even?? This question really drives me nutts.
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