I just hate forced small talks, the meaningless questions and the baseless answers and the fake smiles and the compulsion to compliment ("oh! nice nail polish").but that is all that a social gathering has to offer these days or you can just sit at home n flip channels.
I have done some trend analysis in the last one year or so and below are the most frequently asked questions (FAQs) to me at most weddings/birthday parties/picnics/dinners and all such places where you just have to go only because your parents want you to. There is no exact right answers to these questions coz:
-people dont want to hear the right answers
-or the questions r just too silly to be
-and mostly the qustioneer is undeserving of gettign any answer coz they r not tht close/important.
but i do try not to speak my mind and be politically correct and be as less offensive/defensive as possible. In reality nothing you say makes any difference coz they r going to interpret in the way they want to..
1. What your salary?
My reaction: enough to pay the bills -Alhamdulillah
*thinking: I neither pay my bills nor yours, so how does that matter to you??
2. Do u like kids?
My Reaction: They r cute.
My Actual Answer: not all.
3. Is that an original?
My Reaction: No
The Real Answer: Yes
4. How much did that cost you?
My answer: I don’t Know, I got it as a gift.
*thinking: Do u ask because it looks cheap or expensive??
5. Is that make up?
Answer: What do u think?
Real Answer should be: I was a born beauty. (This question should be listed as bad manners, of the same degree as asking a lady her age.)
6. When r u getting married?
My answer: December
Real Answer: I really really don’t know (how hard is it to believe that??).
7. Do u like this guy you are engaged to?
My Reaction: * smile and silence....(always do that to annoy people)
*Thinking: Is this some kind of Ekta Kapoor serial where am supposed to be getting married to my worst enemy just for a revenge? Or is it some Hindi movie where am blackmailed into a forced marriage?? Oh no it was a child marriage n I dint care at that time and I cant do anything rite now. (plz sense the sarcasm)
8. What is your mother in law like?
Whatever you say to this one, in the end they just convince you that this relationship is doomed forever and after, and you are just not allowed to like her n vice versa. But beleive me she is actually nice...now what can I do about that ?
9. Why dint you call me?
My answer: Am sorry it just slipped from my mind.
Real Answer: Am ignoring you, get the hint already/ You have a phone too…don’t you??
10. Are you mad at me?
My Answer: Of course not!!!
*thinking What did he/she do, damn am I forgetting or did I already get even?? This question really drives me nutts.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I love you Kuwait, but why are you so boring??
Its yet another weekend and yet another dilemma- What do we do?? How to pass the time??
In Kuwait-It’s the time of the year when its so hot n humid that you think you are in hell before death and when its not humid its hot n windy like you are standing with the blow drier in your face, n if you are lucky it will not be that hot but that day there will be a massive sand storm. Today a sand storm is predicted by the weather lady :D
I’ve lived in Kuwait for most of my life and there is not one good thing here which has not been banned after sometime or was cancelled before time. It’s a great place with all the beaches, cheap gas and amazing food and even amazing shopping places.. If you have lived here and when you go to other places on short visits or vacations, you will be amazed how drastically different things are in kuwait and you will really appreciate the :
1. Nature- the flowing water, the lush green trees, monsoon, cool breeze and mountains. Coz all that you see here is some date palms n artificially grown grass…no wait, I had once heard that they do grow some cucumbers n tomatoes in a farm far far away .
2. Civilized Driving- the motorist here are more like Kamikazes (google it) on a mission. Here the, Highways (they’ve named it “Ring Roads” for some reason) are meant for car racing, bumper cars is not confined to the amusement parks, and round abouts are a place to look at other people in their cars with all the dighust your body can generate or you can race and over take his car to the next signal instead-thts being nice. I know my dad loves me a lot, when he just wont get me a driver’s license.
3. Good Customer Service- I cud almost kiss the feet of that man who did not charge me for an extra ketchup at a McDonalds in Dubai. Here its more like take it or leave it. I like to be treated with some politeness before I decide to pay for it. And am so glad that my philipino friends are really trying hard to hold the whole show on their own.
4. Decent Dating ways: Normally Stalking a girl all around the mall till a point where she is scared enough to give you her phone number is no way of asking her out. Or you talk to her dad when he talks to yours at the police station (maqfar). Also, standing outside whereva she goes without doing anything but staring at her will not impress her n only freak her out.
5. Non-Violent National Day Celebrations: Usually there is a parade or concerts in other countries, but in Kuwait they celebrate it by going out on the gulf road blocking the traffic and spraying foam onto other cars, n they do the same to u in revenge followed by honking. Yay!! – I used to like all this at a point in life, but alas!!
6. Anti-Smoking Rules- There r ristrictions and laws against anything remotely notorious dangerous or fun but if you are under 18 and you want to smoke your life away theres no one who can stop you from getting that damned pack of marlboro in Kuwait.
But I love Kuwait!! You just cannot get pufak, Sunkist n fatayer like here anywhere. N I love the fact that all the international brands are available here, in food, clothes shoes. N everything is so HALAAL!! There is no pollution here. I don’t have to worry about my electricity n water bills so much. Land line costs are almost nothing. And, No Taxation on my income (Eat your heart out, you other NRI’s)- yet am bored.
In Kuwait-It’s the time of the year when its so hot n humid that you think you are in hell before death and when its not humid its hot n windy like you are standing with the blow drier in your face, n if you are lucky it will not be that hot but that day there will be a massive sand storm. Today a sand storm is predicted by the weather lady :D
I’ve lived in Kuwait for most of my life and there is not one good thing here which has not been banned after sometime or was cancelled before time. It’s a great place with all the beaches, cheap gas and amazing food and even amazing shopping places.. If you have lived here and when you go to other places on short visits or vacations, you will be amazed how drastically different things are in kuwait and you will really appreciate the :
1. Nature- the flowing water, the lush green trees, monsoon, cool breeze and mountains. Coz all that you see here is some date palms n artificially grown grass…no wait, I had once heard that they do grow some cucumbers n tomatoes in a farm far far away .
2. Civilized Driving- the motorist here are more like Kamikazes (google it) on a mission. Here the, Highways (they’ve named it “Ring Roads” for some reason) are meant for car racing, bumper cars is not confined to the amusement parks, and round abouts are a place to look at other people in their cars with all the dighust your body can generate or you can race and over take his car to the next signal instead-thts being nice. I know my dad loves me a lot, when he just wont get me a driver’s license.
3. Good Customer Service- I cud almost kiss the feet of that man who did not charge me for an extra ketchup at a McDonalds in Dubai. Here its more like take it or leave it. I like to be treated with some politeness before I decide to pay for it. And am so glad that my philipino friends are really trying hard to hold the whole show on their own.
4. Decent Dating ways: Normally Stalking a girl all around the mall till a point where she is scared enough to give you her phone number is no way of asking her out. Or you talk to her dad when he talks to yours at the police station (maqfar). Also, standing outside whereva she goes without doing anything but staring at her will not impress her n only freak her out.
5. Non-Violent National Day Celebrations: Usually there is a parade or concerts in other countries, but in Kuwait they celebrate it by going out on the gulf road blocking the traffic and spraying foam onto other cars, n they do the same to u in revenge followed by honking. Yay!! – I used to like all this at a point in life, but alas!!
6. Anti-Smoking Rules- There r ristrictions and laws against anything remotely notorious dangerous or fun but if you are under 18 and you want to smoke your life away theres no one who can stop you from getting that damned pack of marlboro in Kuwait.
But I love Kuwait!! You just cannot get pufak, Sunkist n fatayer like here anywhere. N I love the fact that all the international brands are available here, in food, clothes shoes. N everything is so HALAAL!! There is no pollution here. I don’t have to worry about my electricity n water bills so much. Land line costs are almost nothing. And, No Taxation on my income (Eat your heart out, you other NRI’s)- yet am bored.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
As I get older...
I just turned 24 last month. And I am trying to get used to the fact that, I am old now and in an years time I will no longer be “in my early 20’s” !! Oh God!!!! I could have cried while cutting the cake, but had to smile for the sake of cameras on me, there was just one camera….but I imagined a paparazzi in my head.
And I realized, as I get older:
I think a lot more
I react a lot less
I listen more
I advice less
I shop for others
I save for me
I hate drama
I believe in karma
I am more tolerant towards lil kids
I am more annoyed by teenage girls
I am less scared of older people
I am more scared of younger guys
I miss having nothing to do
I love having nowhere to go
Planning scares me
Future deludes me
Most things don’t matter anymore
More things are for me to ignore
Lesser I think more happier I get
Lesser I try more easier it gets
I cant stay mad for too long
I don't have to say “sorry” too soon
I prefer cooking over partying
I’d rather hike than go driving
And
There is so much more to learn
There is even more to unlearn
And I realized, as I get older:
I think a lot more
I react a lot less
I listen more
I advice less
I shop for others
I save for me
I hate drama
I believe in karma
I am more tolerant towards lil kids
I am more annoyed by teenage girls
I am less scared of older people
I am more scared of younger guys
I miss having nothing to do
I love having nowhere to go
Planning scares me
Future deludes me
Most things don’t matter anymore
More things are for me to ignore
Lesser I think more happier I get
Lesser I try more easier it gets
I cant stay mad for too long
I don't have to say “sorry” too soon
I prefer cooking over partying
I’d rather hike than go driving
And
There is so much more to learn
There is even more to unlearn
Sunday, June 6, 2010
when I Shudnt have lied...
When this office boy came to give me some documents at 7:15 AM and he was wearing this most dighusting/ cheap/ down market perfume ever created n sold, and
I instantly reacted almost shouting: "whats that smell?"
he took it as a compliment and replies: "0h thats my perfume"
I am thinking: get the hell out of here but I say: "oh nice which one is it?" in the most polite tone I could fake.
n He is like: " I dunno the name" and leaves smiling...and I silently Thank God.
Then he returns, with the big bottle of this perfume in his hand n insists that I try it since i loved it so much...n sprays it on my wrists (both). I wanted to slap myself hard for letting him do that to me...but the nausea would only increase that way.... n its 2:00 PM now n I still cant get rid of the smell n the headache inspite of washing my hands almost 10 times. n I so feel liek puking rite now.. i swear to God am not exaggerating.
n am wondering, is this some kind of revenge of the office boy?? or is it Gods classic punishment for lieing?? or is there no point in being nice to others ... n just be the hurtful mean bitch, i bet she neva suffered so much!!
I instantly reacted almost shouting: "whats that smell?"
he took it as a compliment and replies: "0h thats my perfume"
I am thinking: get the hell out of here but I say: "oh nice which one is it?" in the most polite tone I could fake.
n He is like: " I dunno the name" and leaves smiling...and I silently Thank God.
Then he returns, with the big bottle of this perfume in his hand n insists that I try it since i loved it so much...n sprays it on my wrists (both). I wanted to slap myself hard for letting him do that to me...but the nausea would only increase that way.... n its 2:00 PM now n I still cant get rid of the smell n the headache inspite of washing my hands almost 10 times. n I so feel liek puking rite now.. i swear to God am not exaggerating.
n am wondering, is this some kind of revenge of the office boy?? or is it Gods classic punishment for lieing?? or is there no point in being nice to others ... n just be the hurtful mean bitch, i bet she neva suffered so much!!
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