Please dont ask me.

I just hate forced small talks, the meaningless questions and the baseless answers and the fake smiles and the compulsion to compliment ("oh! nice nail polish").but that is all that a social gathering has to offer these days or you can just sit at home n flip channels.


I have done some trend analysis in the last one year or so and below are the most frequently asked questions (FAQs) to me at most weddings/birthday parties/picnics/dinners and all such places where you just have to go only because your parents want you to. There is no exact right answers to these questions coz:
-people dont want to hear the right answers
-or the questions r just too silly to be
-and mostly the qustioneer is undeserving of gettign any answer coz they r not tht close/important.
but i do try not to speak my mind and be politically correct and be as less offensive/defensive as possible. In reality nothing you say makes any difference coz they r going to interpret in the way they want to..


1. What your salary?
My reaction: enough to pay the bills -Alhamdulillah
*thinking: I neither pay my bills nor yours, so how does that matter to you??

2. Do u like kids?
My Reaction: They r cute.
My Actual Answer: not all.

3. Is that an original?
My Reaction: No
The Real Answer: Yes

4. How much did that cost you?
My answer: I don’t Know, I got it as a gift.
*thinking: Do u ask because it looks cheap or expensive??

5. Is that make up?
Answer: What do u think?
Real Answer should be: I was a born beauty. (This question should be listed as bad manners, of the same degree as asking a lady her age.)

6. When r u getting married?
My answer: December
Real Answer: I really really don’t know (how hard is it to believe that??).

7. Do u like this guy you are engaged to?
My Reaction: * smile and silence....(always do that to annoy people)
*Thinking: Is this some kind of Ekta Kapoor serial where am supposed to be getting married to my worst enemy just for a revenge? Or is it some Hindi movie where am blackmailed into a forced marriage?? Oh no it was a child marriage n I dint care at that time and I cant do anything rite now. (plz sense the sarcasm)


8. What is your mother in law like?
Whatever you say to this one, in the end they just convince you that this relationship is doomed forever and after, and you are just not allowed to like her n vice versa. But beleive me she is actually nice...now what can I do about that ?

9. Why dint you call me?
My answer: Am sorry it just slipped from my mind.
Real Answer: Am ignoring you, get the hint already/ You have a phone too…don’t you??

10. Are you mad at me?
My Answer: Of course not!!!
*thinking What did he/she do, damn am I forgetting or did I already get even?? This question really drives me nutts.