…then Patience is the key.

I am in my hometown since 2 months, the reason being my lil sis’ wedding and believe it or not while here I missed my third degree torture of a job in “Kuwait Petroleum” (I wish there was an expression in this world to describe how proudly my mom mentions this to my relatives here…. I should make her meet my Chairman’s mom someday).

Being here I’ve realized that in so many years the place has changed a lot, more traffic, better infrastructure, better shopping places etc. (pls. pray that we get a mall n a multiplex soon) But one thing is intact, and that’s the people and their endless/mindless curiosity. I swear I tried but I don’t know why my brain just cannot stop being amazed at how much people care about everything (big or small) in my almost city but still a village of a hometown. Hence, therefore, all I can do to survive yet another 15 days here (without being labeled a “snapping bitch” by popular demand) is to be PATIENT. Especially…

1. When everybody around you has self appointed themselves as your body guard. And considers reporting you’re every small/big move to your parents and other close and distant relatives- and that pretty much covers the entire population!. (And you were bugged about stalkers on facebook). Its frustrating, especially when you don’t have much to do at home as people keep visiting ( I so want to charge them a small entry fee to my house) and when you go out you are being watched and talked about without being subtle about it (initially I did feel like a celebrity but now I feel Britney Spear’s and Paris Hilton’s pain :P). Apart from being bodyguards, they are also part time counselors and consultants who feel the need to advice you in every possible way (health/ mental/ emotional/ financial) all round the clock (such dedication and hard work and I wonder why theres so much unemployment in this country)

2. When you have to bend and do salaam to every goddamn person who entered that venue before you (our salaam is 1. bend 2. take the persons hand 3. touch your right eye to it 4. then left eye 5. then forehead 6. then lips….am tired just by explaining this procedure) and then engaging in an aimless FAQ’s round with every single one of them. To save myself some torment I had planned to make an appearance an hour earlier, but it backfired in my face as it only invited more questions….(where’s your mom/dad/bro/sis….why/how/when did u come….blah blah shit shit……).All Fails. If only I was paid to do this, I’d be buying my custom made mercedez by the end of this trip.

3. When people start explaining how they are related to you,…. I mean come on!! Do you think Ill consider you in my will?? Or someday ill sit and make a family tree for all the history books in the world and hang your pic on the most cornered branch?? Or are you hoping me to behave like you coz somewhere there our DNA’s match??? I tried escaping by a“ Oh yes…ofcourse I know you” …but then they counter question you and test you if you really do. All Fails. I am suggesting all my people should polygraph test me at once to see if I really know them or not.

4. When people think forcibly feeding someone is the way of caring and showing love. I actually get cramps in my feet from sitting that long for a meal. I so want to burp in their faces… only if that made them disghusted and not happier :S

5. When people get shocked if they see you at masjid for prayers or a visiting a religious place. Seriously, what is it about me that says that am an atheist?? Is it my satanic pendant?? Or my dragon tattoo?? Why is it so difficult to believe that people are capable of having faith in God if they r brought up outside this village??? And do they really expect me to try n convince them, that it’s not just a show to impress them??? *praying harder.

6. When you are constantly being asked if you are the older/younger sister??? (Am considering coloring my hair grey and walking around with a stick to convince you all.) And is it you who got married?? (yes!!! my imaginary husband is on space mission to Mars rite now).

I am bored, sick n tired. But I know ill miss this place and the people once I am back to my secluded nest in Kuwait. Its just that in this town people’s curiosity needs to be constantly fed and they always need something to talk about. Till then, let me be with…my bike….that pani puri stall …Gulaab jamuns and paan.V Peace V