Fight me not.

Just realised, if they ever recruit me in the army my combat techniques would comprise of :
1. Ignoring the Opponent
2. Instant Tear Mechanism
3. Offensive Name calling
4. Beating around the Bush while Dodging the Bullets
5. Kissing Ass

Its so sad!!! the fact that I've lost what I once had-my ability to fight and fight right and giving people what they deserve right there n then. The "snap-slap-STFU" mechanism is no longer in action- it retired . Its the end of an era- The haters may rejoice.


The realization sank in today - narration time- the pantry girl at work got mad at me for not clearly mentioning what I need when I had clearly told her hot choclate milk n she got plane hot choclate!!! she obviously dint hear the milk part. forgiven. but the audacity with which she threw some attitude at me yelling -"you be clear next time OK I dont like thees, you waste my time" pointing her finger n East Asian eyes n nose at me totally freaking me out (so much that I could only respond by blogging here, where she will never read) n I apologized to her and she walked off without acknowledging it. I told myself, may be shes having a bad day- then she returns with the right order n I smile wide thanking her n I ask her "how r u ??" she replies: "You waste my time, I am busy"n I say sorry again ...she- walks off.


OMG!! I cant stand this indifference from the pantry girl, I swear to god I got a lump in my throat ready to burst into tears. I could not tell her anything and my brain was formulating ways to kiss her ass and make her like me. Instead of asking her to do her work right I was blaming myself for not repeating the order. I wanted to give her the tried and tested glare and tear her apart with my snide remarks (strictly literally). Which I dint. But I wish I had coz the word is out and everybodys talkign abt it with me as the "evil vamp" anyways. (office gossip is the saddest form of gossips. period.)


Fighting is not the ultimate solution. And I am not referring to anything that might include nunchuks, knives, AK 47, taekwando etc. but only the socially accepted kind of evil cunnyving manipulations that humans engage in, that leads to angry confrontations through excessive usage of verbal abuse or cold silent treatmennt (much more dangerous). But you have got to fight when you have to fight. Sometimes, just to be taken seriously or even when it doesnt benefit anyone..sometimes you got to fight for someone else who can't, sometimes you just have to support the ones you love when they are at it.


I feel I have lost the will to even try. Infact, I pray that sucha situation never comes up where I am asked to take sides or where I am asked for an honest opinion which may lead to a fight (to be honest, nobody really needs an honest opinion yet they keep asking for one :S). In school I was a fiesty tigeress , I had once even slapped a junior (not too proud of it) for a reason so silly that its best unmentioned. Later, in college I was the kind who would be triggered if messed with but other wise your good old "agony aunt" (again, not too proud of it) But not anymore. Something killed the old me, for better or for worse-only time will show!! But rite now I miss her! I miss her lots!!