Pre-nuptual project - phase 4

Moving closer towards the wedding, I am not saying am paranoid, but yes I do have my fears, n i hope they dont materialize but only become a laughing matter over the years only to be mentioned in my "Best Wife Award" speech.

So, while I was inviting my male friends from work/college/school time for the wedding, I asked them whats their idea of "ideal wife". Some answers were shocking, while some just were validated with evidence on what we ordinarily thaught was a myth or a cliche. Here's what I got:

1. From my school friend Anas, he's an MBA working for a big shot advertizing company,  so clearly he'd not say something without any market research. he's single and looking at the moment. this is what he said, which I think will make his search a bit more difficult than it already is :

"Cooks well... thoda bohot gives bhaav to husband's ego...

some times takes his case also just to remind him that even though I am sweet I can be a bitch too...
and has good looking friends
Gives some space... like 1 day in a week where he can hang out with his friends without her being there.."
 
 
2. From my boss, this guy is a "Senior Analyst Risk Management" again with an MBA degree, and has two wives (yes!! u read that right). hence why you got to take it from this man (please read it in a heavy arabic accent for kicks):
 
" Wallahi!! Maahjabeen it iz very eeezzy....just take care of the man ...what hez wearing....what hez eeething...ekzethra...if he looks good....you will look good....thatzz all...bas khallas...my first wife dhont know...second wife, she cuth my nailzz alzo... so nice... see!!"
 
3. From my ex colleague now friend- Zahoor, hes a CFO and Finance Manager for a recruitment consultancy and very recently married. how can you not consider what he's talking:

"There's something about our ego- I won't tell her that am low but I need attention too..pampering and all that...we need it too. You have to be like a girl friend who motivates him to be the best and also the wife who accepts his weakness no matter what."

Escuse me, for I need to learn some circus tricks to entertain this man am gonna marry  (if thats the only thing left to do) .

Pre-Nuptual Project- Phase 3

I need to stop obsessing about my upcoming wedding, coz my friends think i have become a person who is a  hyper ball of self centeredness that detroys everything in its path and that who ocassionally turns into a lazy good for nothing sloth who cant be bothered with no shit. And also coz I just googled and found out that in India alone around 1,00,00000 weddings take place in a year, so mine will be just another one and thankfully nothing like the ones that are not accounted for like -  all the child marriages and those like marrying random trees to ward of that bad omen or a frog wedding ceremony to bring rain and lady who married 4 brothers (I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage).

So I will take these 25 days to spend good quality time with my mom and dad, shopping for me and my family (now and future), pampering my preganant sister, having those long chit chats with my friends and appreciating all those lovely people in my life that I might not meet that often anymore like:

1. My neighbors 4 yr old daughter who is my biggest fan and wants me to put make up for her and teach her dance moves (am not good at any of those). She taught me gujrati in return.

2. My cousins- the ones in India, who keep calling me for if I need anything and the ones in Kuwait who think I am uber cool to hang out with even if they are in high school (and I am clearly not) and also my cousins kids - those cute lil brats, I was asked to discipline at every family gathering (It has gone unnoticed, that am really good at yelling)

3. All my colleagues with all sorts of weird personalities (am sure they say the same about me), yes even habib - the office boy who discusses his marital problems with me (y me?) and also those who thought my work was to check their letters and memos for grammatical errors. (I once read this on somebody's staff appraisal form by my Manager : Improve your English for better career bath!!-I did not correct it just like tht). And my secret gang of gals, its crazy how much time we must have collectively spent on discussing men/makeup and hating our bosses. And ofcourse my boss who advices me not to get married (FYI he has two wives- this man, wins my admiration and pity at the same time)

4. The children of our family friends- who pretended to be my best friends whenever we meet. I appreciate that you all pretended to like me, in return i did the same only coz our parents were friends. I hope we are even. Together we managed to get through those weekly torture sessions they called- Picnic.

5. My Friends moms, who always welcomed me in their homes, inticed me with yummy food to complain abt their kids notorious activities as they thut i was the only good influence in their life. They assure me that I am doing something right somewhere. (yet humble)

6. Those friends I made at markaz, who made those sermons fun by forwarding msgs via bluetooth and later whatsapp. Dont judge me, it can get painfully long sometimes and I dont have a great deal of attention span and they serve food only at the end. (somewhere someday a mulla saab will read this and hate me)

7. And last but not the least how can we forget the Aunties, I am sorry my lovelies I did all that was possible to dodge u as I thut you were bent on making me miserable with your curiosity over my wedding date but now I know that it was only your unconditional love and care.

With all the love and blessings that surround me, I am just overwhelmed. (escuse me)