If you r pregnant or planning to start a family, then pay attention... This ones for you!!
Lady, when you conceive... You I'll be getting a lot of congratulations and "oh my god you must be so excited", I say, you should bask in the glory of your (effortless) achievement and enjoy all that attention you will be getting from here on onwards. ( yes!! The world will revolve around you n your belly)
N you two, who are planning to
Start a family... Just sit down n think!!! Just think!! if your immature self can take care of a mini human or not.
Raising a baby has its joys n sorrows, it can be boring and tiresome at one point and just like that it will become your only source of satisfaction.
It's not rocket science but there r things that no amount of google search or maternity books will prepare you for.. Fear not!! Read below!!
1. If you love your shoes and bags, just pack them away... All you I'll need is a pair of flat ballerina shoes and big ugly baby bag (just hate it when others put their stuff in your bag just coz its big)
Bright side: your life's so simplified and low maintenance...and who needs those shoe bites n cramps.
2. If you like to look good and spend a considerable amount at the parlor on your charming self, then you will save a lot of
money (only to spend on diapers) coz as a mom u sometimes don't even have time to brush your hair/teeth (I tend to Exaggerate a lot... But not this time-really my eye brows have totally lost faith in me)
Bright side: you will get amazing hair n skin from those post pregnancy hormones. Yay!
3. If you are a person that likes to go out and socialize, then don't be surprised if that part of you just dies n decays from your personality. Just the thaught of going out will tire you instantly. (last time
I went out with my kids, I had to pack-stock-prepare so much that I felt like I was going on a fishing trip across Atlantic)
Bright side: you are spared from being judged. Ha!!
4. Best advise of all- Eat-sleep and gossip while you still can...before tht kid wakes up. Coz a lot work goes into making them sleep->> feed-burp-change-be a clown!! then the baby sleeps. And if you want to cough or sneeze or even swallow your saliva go in a different room coz they have super sonic ears and can get disturbed by anything (my phones on silent since november not even vibrate mode)
Bright side: they look so adorable while sleeping, like your own "made to order" angels from heaven, that it's totally worth it.
5. Your husband, "the love of your life", "the reason for your existence" will turn into the reason for your high blood pressure. Coz he's still a kid... That you can no longer pamper. (Am sorry, but tht dirty laundry that you left on the floor will be burnt to ashes).
Bright side: your kids will really get along with that kid called daddy.
You're welcome!
I'll add more later... Have to sleep- eat and gossip!!! While I still can.
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